“Speak Their Language” – Episode #11

This episode is about modalities of communication – the ways in which people best receive, process, and communicate information. You might call it our brain’s language. I share information about each of the modalities, and how the differences in how we receive, process, and communicate information can lead to miscommunication and conflict. I’ll also talk about how you can adapt your communication style to “speak the other person’s language” to facilitate better communication and understanding.  We so often assume that the person we’re communicating with understands, or should understand exactly what we mean. Assuming that another person has actually heard and processed our communication in the way we intended – which doesn’t happen as often as we assume it does – is one of the most frequent sources of misunderstanding and conflict. As you listen, I know you’re going to recognize familiar experiences, because this happens to all of us.

The information I share about the modalities  comes from a wonderful book called “Instant Rapport” by Michael Brooks. This book gave me some excellent insights which I have used with great success in helping others resolve their conflicts when their conflicts have been caused or affected by misunderstood communication or communications that never actually got absorbed by the listener.


The Blueprint of We Process is a tool that helps construct  a strong foundation for any kind of relationship, and is one that I am particularly drawn to because it is a method of using a form of conscious communication in a process that helps co-create peace, so – of course – what a great topic for this podcast! Sheella and Rachel Eryn are with me today to give us some insights into the Blueprint of We Process and its use as a tool to co-create peace.

In addition to this interview, you can listen to Episode #33 “Walking Through the Blueprint of We”, where Sheella walks us through the first two components of the Blueprint process, working with Ron Person, who is creating his Blueprint. In Episode #40, you can hear Part 2 of this process as Sheella and Ron continue their work together, completing Ron’s Blueprint.

To learn more about the Blueprint of We Collaboration Process, and for blueprint templates for different kinds of relationships, visit: www.blueprintofwecalifornia.com.

Sheella Mierson, Ph.D. helps individuals and organizations design relationships, processes, and structures for creative collaboration. Rachel Eryn Kalish has a master’s in counseling psychology and 30 years working with organizations, families, and communities to deepen trust and inspire new ways of connecting and collaborating.